Grainger Marburg, Mentor
Fall Newsletter 2023
Q: How did you first become involved in mentoring with RTE?
I became involved with RTE in the fall of 202I. I wanted to do something meaningful that was different from my job at the time (COO of a philanthropy called Wellbeing Trust). I had been there for almost five years and I was feeling a little disconnected because of the pandemic and working exclusively from home. Through an email to Paly parents I learned RTE was looking for a Treasurer and I reached out to learn more about the organization. I met with Dawn Billman and she asked if I would consider mentoring. She connected me to Kimberly Schwan, and it became clear after those conversations that it was probably a better fit for me to be a mentor.
Q: What has been challenging?
The most challenging thing for me was becoming a mentor for a group that had already started college. The students had been virtual at the end of high school (many of them had started college virtually as well) and they hadn't met an RTE mentor in person. It was hard trying to establish any kind of connection or relationship with students that had never met me. In the beginning it was really hard to actually establish any kind of contact at all. I started occasionally texting them and then some of them would start writing back. After they finished freshman year I asked if they would be willing to meet in person because we hadn't met each other. I was able to schedule a bunch of one-on-ones that first summer. I decided to just be patient, and I felt like there was no reason for these students to be enthusiastically responding to someone they hadn’t met or didn’t know. I think it was the consistency of my communication that helped me overcome that challenge.
Q: How do you go about getting to know your mentees?
I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all. My mentees like to communicate in different ways. Some are ok with email, while others prefer texts or talking on the phone. So I just adapted to that. Mostly, though, we communicate via texts and phone calls. Now that I have a foundational relationship with my mentees, it is easier to schedule in person meetings when they are home for winter or summer breaks. I prefer to meet them in person when possible.
Q: What are the most important skills to have as a mentor?
I think patience and humility are very important skills to have as a mentor. I was a high school teacher many years ago; I learned early on that patience and humility helped me gain the trust of my students, especially when I didn’t pretend to know all of the answers! It is similar with my RTE mentees. There are times I definitely don’t know the answer to something, but I do know how to figure out where to get the answer, and that skill is something my mentees will benefit from for the rest of their lives. In short, It's not about having all the answers; it's about being willing to listen and absorb what's going on with them and not judge or try to always provide answers.
Q: Why do you continue to give your time to RTE?
It took me a few months to agree to be a mentor because I don't take the responsibility lightly. Kimberly stressed that RTE has had a few people who get inspired for a moment, but when the reality sets in they're not really available. And so I thought about it for a little while because I wanted to make sure I could support a cohort through college. For me, it was important to provide some consistency for my mentees and give them a sense they had a mentor they could trust and rely on. I am so glad I made the commitment. Now that I have started to know my mentees it's been more and more satisfying and rewarding because I have a sense of who they are as individuals. They are wonderful and complex human beings who are doing the best they can and I am proud of each of them in different ways.
Q: How would you like to evolve the mentorship program?
I believe that a peer-to-peer mentorship program of alumni with current students would be a very powerful thing. When I was attending the summer meet and greet event, I really felt that one of the more powerful components of that was having current scholars and alumni at the same event. I noticed the new scholars perked up a little more when alumni shared their experiences because they could identify with those experiences in more personal ways. Another idea would be to have affinity groups or things like that where people interested in similar careers could cross-pollinate and support one another.
Q: How did you first become involved in mentoring with RTE?
I became involved with RTE in the fall of 202I. I wanted to do something meaningful that was different from my job at the time (COO of a philanthropy called Wellbeing Trust). I had been there for almost five years and I was feeling a little disconnected because of the pandemic and working exclusively from home. Through an email to Paly parents I learned RTE was looking for a Treasurer and I reached out to learn more about the organization. I met with Dawn Billman and she asked if I would consider mentoring. She connected me to Kimberly Schwan, and it became clear after those conversations that it was probably a better fit for me to be a mentor.
Q: What has been challenging?
The most challenging thing for me was becoming a mentor for a group that had already started college. The students had been virtual at the end of high school (many of them had started college virtually as well) and they hadn't met an RTE mentor in person. It was hard trying to establish any kind of connection or relationship with students that had never met me. In the beginning it was really hard to actually establish any kind of contact at all. I started occasionally texting them and then some of them would start writing back. After they finished freshman year I asked if they would be willing to meet in person because we hadn't met each other. I was able to schedule a bunch of one-on-ones that first summer. I decided to just be patient, and I felt like there was no reason for these students to be enthusiastically responding to someone they hadn’t met or didn’t know. I think it was the consistency of my communication that helped me overcome that challenge.
Q: How do you go about getting to know your mentees?
I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all. My mentees like to communicate in different ways. Some are ok with email, while others prefer texts or talking on the phone. So I just adapted to that. Mostly, though, we communicate via texts and phone calls. Now that I have a foundational relationship with my mentees, it is easier to schedule in person meetings when they are home for winter or summer breaks. I prefer to meet them in person when possible.
Q: What are the most important skills to have as a mentor?
I think patience and humility are very important skills to have as a mentor. I was a high school teacher many years ago; I learned early on that patience and humility helped me gain the trust of my students, especially when I didn’t pretend to know all of the answers! It is similar with my RTE mentees. There are times I definitely don’t know the answer to something, but I do know how to figure out where to get the answer, and that skill is something my mentees will benefit from for the rest of their lives. In short, It's not about having all the answers; it's about being willing to listen and absorb what's going on with them and not judge or try to always provide answers.
Q: Why do you continue to give your time to RTE?
It took me a few months to agree to be a mentor because I don't take the responsibility lightly. Kimberly stressed that RTE has had a few people who get inspired for a moment, but when the reality sets in they're not really available. And so I thought about it for a little while because I wanted to make sure I could support a cohort through college. For me, it was important to provide some consistency for my mentees and give them a sense they had a mentor they could trust and rely on. I am so glad I made the commitment. Now that I have started to know my mentees it's been more and more satisfying and rewarding because I have a sense of who they are as individuals. They are wonderful and complex human beings who are doing the best they can and I am proud of each of them in different ways.
Q: How would you like to evolve the mentorship program?
I believe that a peer-to-peer mentorship program of alumni with current students would be a very powerful thing. When I was attending the summer meet and greet event, I really felt that one of the more powerful components of that was having current scholars and alumni at the same event. I noticed the new scholars perked up a little more when alumni shared their experiences because they could identify with those experiences in more personal ways. Another idea would be to have affinity groups or things like that where people interested in similar careers could cross-pollinate and support one another.